Answer the question

July 28th, 2005 by Ben Goldacre in bad science, very basic science | 248 Comments »

Ben Goldacre
Thursday July 28, 2005
The Guardian

· Last week I asked: what’s the most stupid thing anyone has said to you about science at a party? And it would seem that the great British sport of moron-baiting is more popular than ever. Lots of you encountered philosophers. Guy Davidson was told that “science doesn’t tell you about the real world, only an ideal version of it”. Yup. Well, light still travels faster than sound no matter how you look at it. Balthazar Florentin-Lee met someone who told him his discussion was flawed because it was “based only on logic” and someone whose email I lost got: “Logic isn’t real, you can prove anything you want with logic. It’s meaningless.” Edwin Whiting was told that “science is how the devil perverts God’s will” (bravo!), and the popular idea that “science is a way of life you choose just like religion” (via Yaniv Chen) perhaps explains why party philosophers then moved on to “not everything is scientific” (via Heather Bayley) and “science can’t tell us everything” (via Conor McGeown). We never said it could.

· Most interesting were “folk” theories about the natural world. Amanda Fergusson had the misfortune to spend some time on an intensive therapy unit where she heard someone solemnly explaining the workings of the ventilator to relatives: “The machine slowly brings her back up to atmospheric pressure: when she’s there, then they disconnect her and she can breathe for herself.” Max Zavood was told that evolution obviously wasn’t ongoing because there “weren’t any new species of humans” (“how do you know what they’d look like?” was his sinister reply); Stewart Hotston was told that copper bracelets worked by “creating energy”, “just like petrol creates the energy needed to drive a car”. John Frizell was told that “global warming is nothing to worry about because energy and matter are interconvertible”, and Derek Sellars got: “Science will never unravel the basic structure of the universe because when we think about subatomic particles it affects the way they behave.”

· Lastly, pity William O, a sensitive soul who answers customer queries for a supermarket chain to fund his science career, and so finds himself explaining to baffled angry customers why the quoted number of calories per 100g on the label of powdered soup should go down when you add water (dilution), that GM foods are not radioactive (they’re just not), and why the amino acids in shampoo won’t burn your scalp. “I feel arrogant and guilty when I get frustrated with these people … but I just can’t help it.” This man is a saint.


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248 Responses



  1. Edd Almond said,

    August 4, 2005 at 11:26 am

    I’ve been told, on two seperate occasions, by two seperate people (linked only by the degree they have), that “parallel lines meeting at infinity prove the existence of God”. Cue much knuckle-biting angst as they refuse to accept that parallel lines meeting at infinity prove the existence of evolution as well, if that’s the game they’re playing….

    Gah!

  2. MostlySunny said,

    August 15, 2005 at 1:08 pm

    I have had the “Science is a belief system like any other ” thing a number of times…

    My yoga teacher regularly tells us that certain poses “reverse the blood flow in the body taking pressure off the heart” – erm, that can’t be right… can it?

    MS

  3. exemplar said,

    August 16, 2005 at 10:20 pm

    Have a heart for the philosophers……. I was once at a party and when pressed on my discipline reluctantly admitted it…….the response ‘Hah philosophy, anyone can do that even children’. Fine can someone find me a child who can fill me in on the finer points of philosophy and history of science……..even you Ben shame on your refer to them as party philosophers……what hope have we got !

  4. amoebic vodka said,

    August 26, 2005 at 12:10 pm

    How about:

    “A somewhat typical report from so-called science. Scientists simply refuse to believe in anything unless there is proof.”

    Funny that…

    From the BBC’s article on homeopathy: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4183916.stm

    We know it’s not a party, but we don’t get out much.

  5. Stig Carlsson said,

    August 31, 2005 at 10:25 pm

    Do You know that when someone dies, maggots and larvae
    hatches out of eggs already present in your body?
    It seems that we have them present in in our body as long as
    we live. No explanation given as how or when they got into
    our bodies.
    This I got told to me by a Finnish girlfriend and she firmly believed
    in it as an older relative had said that it was TRUE.
    ( It also caused a great row between us- Science lost!)
    That, and other things even sillier still are being told to children
    in low-educated groups in northern Finland.

    Stig Carlsson, Vänersborg, Sweden

  6. Helge Moulding said,

    September 12, 2005 at 7:31 pm

    I’ve heard all of those. (To exemplar, also heard “Philosophy is just failed religion.”) Also had someone tell me that mathematical theories (like set theory) are more reliable than other scientific theories (like the theory of evolution.) This worthy told me that he’d studied math, so that was alright. Of course, the one I like best is when someone says they don’t know a lot about x (like creationism), but they’re convinced that it’s a good alternative to the scientific theory (like evolution).

  7. Matt said,

    September 13, 2005 at 3:27 pm

    The BBC article on homeopathy is a goldmine. How about the closing statement:

    “It has been established beyond doubt and accepted by many researchers, that the placebo-controlled randomised controlled trial is not a fitting research tool with which to test homeopathy.”

    Shane Warne could not have applied more spin to, what is effectively, the statement:

    “No reliable scientific test has produced any evidence in favour of homeopathy.”

  8. Mark C said,

    September 16, 2005 at 3:50 am

    Well I guess talking about particles really does (in a physical sense) affect the way they behave, but that sure is one hell of a bastardization of the Uncertainty Principle!

  9. Aloosia said,

    September 18, 2005 at 9:25 pm

    “Well, if bumblebees don’t produce honey, then why did they evolve? What’s the point of them?” (drunk at party on hearing that I study host-parasite evolution in bumblebees)

    “The earth can’t *possibly* be older than 10,000 years” (EX-boyfriend)

    “Evolution is a religion in which genes take the role of god, and therefore genes must be concious entities.” (essay I read a while ago on the web and unfortunately can’t find anymore)

    Oh and just too much about evolution being “only” a theory, being a religion, being “for the good of the species” (I wish to smite all who speak or write this phrase… which now includes me… hmmm…), asking me about what the point is of x, y or z species. I tend to now only go to parties where there are lots of other evolutionary biologists, and we end up in the kitchen complaining about how noone really understands how evolution works although they believe they do. Sad, really.

  10. njkayaker said,

    September 26, 2005 at 5:57 pm

    “A somewhat typical report from so-called science. Scientists simply refuse to believe in anything unless there is proof.”

    From the BBC’s article on homeopathy: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4183916.stm

    The above quote does not appear to appear in the link indicated.

  11. Delster said,

    November 17, 2005 at 4:13 pm

    evolution is only a theory, as are many other long held scientific positions, however it is the one that accounts best for the observed facts. Thats more or less what the whole of science is about, not to mention why it’s called “Theory of”.

    If someone comes up with a better idea, complete with proof, that can be checked and or replicated and stands up to rigorous examination then the new idea replaces the old…. i belive thats called the scientific method!

    So the “Big Beard” theory, as a friend calls it, which basically points a finger at an invisable, intangible, inaudable being (with or without beard) that can’t actually be proved to exist and saying He did it gov, doesn’t really hold up now does it.

  12. Rose said,

    November 24, 2005 at 8:27 pm

    Neither of these were at parties, but I think you’ll like them anyway.

    My teenage brother-in-law asked me to explain what ‘dimensions’ are. He’s a computer geek who was experienced with multidimensional arrays but had only a vague idea of Cartesian co-ordinates, so it was a fun conversation. Until his mother walked in and set me straight.

    According to the book she’d just finished, “the first dimension is the core of the earth, the second dimension is the elementals, the third dimension is our world, and the fourth dimension is the spiritual plane of existence.” So much for the minimum number of co-ordinates necessary to uniquely specify a point in a given space.

    A feminist once informed me that I can’t *really* believe in biological sex differences, because if they exist how can I be good at math? Furthermore, research that seems to show any such differences is necessarily invalid because it’s based on a logical, masculine worldview. Goddess, I wish I was joking.

  13. Richard said,

    December 2, 2005 at 11:19 am

    About your “Party Hard” “”"experiment”"”.

    I recently celebrated 25th year skydiving. Skydiving as you might think is, or should be, a technical sport with a lot of factual safety knowledge supporting methodology.

    Well, I am happy to say, that usually it is. However, upon my 25th year in the joy of cheating the supersticious, by simply surviving.

    I told a few colleagues that in 25 years I had never had to “cut-away”. Cutting away involves jettisoning a malfunctioning main parachute and subsequently deploying the reserve parachute.

    Well exactly 1 week later, I did have to cut-away!! That evening at the bar, one of my colleagues said, while laughing at my prediciment, “……and you were telling everyone that you didnt have to cut away in 25 years”….

    I said to him, that I still didnt cut-away in 25 years…. his _expression changed to confusion, I explained that I celebrated 25 years last week….. he persisted…”yes but you were still telling everyone that you havnt had to cut-away, he helpfully offered”…..

    So I asked if he was religious, now looking even more confused, he said ” absolutly NOT”!

    I then asked him what my talking about something, had to do with the event actually transpiring. He said “its negative energy”….. I then enquired if he knew the difference between “cause and effect” and “cause and association”…. to which his smile faded, he screwed up his nose and then walked off.

    We are not alone!!

  14. Graham Warren said,

    December 8, 2005 at 7:05 pm

    we’ve had children answer questions about blood circulation and say that blood flows down one leg and up the other. priceless…
    and those who thought that homing pigeons found their way using magnetism primarily because pigeons are made of iron!

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