With the changes to homeopathy regulations you can look forward to more products like this, for “influenza and influenza-like colds”:
Coldenza is a homeopathic remedy specifically designed to bring fast, effective relief for the symptoms of cold and flu. For best results take immediately at the onset of flu or the early stages of a cold; keep warm and drink plenty of fluids.
Â£4.20 for 72 tablets
Available from Boots, Superdrug, Holland and Barrett, Sainsbury’s and all good pharmacies and health food shops nationwide. Click here to find your local stockist.
My favourite bit is where it says “Keep out of the reach of children.” Yeah, you don’t want you kids to start thinking that sweeties are medicines, no hang on, that medicines are sweeties, no, wait, you don’t want them to start thinking that sweeties are medicines.
Oh, that and the bit where it says “If symptoms persist or worsen, consult your doctor or homeopath.”
This is a totally excellent packaging development. If your flu symptoms persist for a long time, days, and then weeks maybe, don’t bother your doctor… Perhaps they worsen over time, maybe your cough gets a bit painful… well Nelsons said to go to a homeopath, I reckon if I cough this much it’s bound to hurt a bit, and I am coughing a lot, and the packaging looks pretty authoritative, and it is licensed by the government, isn’t it. Perhaps your fever becomes a bit more persistent, perhaps you’re bringing a bit more sputum than you might expect, perhaps it’s frothy, perhaps it’s green, well you do bring stuff up when you have a cough don’t you, ooh I feel a bit achey though, this fever isn’t shifting, I’m really sweating, I shan’t worry about going to the doctor though. It’s probably nothing. Seriously. Ignore it. If your flu symptoms worsen or persist, you might just as well go and see a homeopath instead.
Flu deaths in the UK are down from 20,000 5 years ago to about 1,200 last year, largely thanks to an effective vaccination program for those most at risk. Careful you don’t miss that diagnosis of pneumonia though, homeopaths: it kills about 30,000 people a year in England alone, and it can be tricky to spot if you’re not experienced. Oh and that frothy sputum might be congestive cardiac failure I suppose. And why does that person keep getting ill? Probably something in their “energy”.
This to me is another, albeit subtle, example of the creep towards “equivalence” between “complementary and alternative medicine” (as they insist on calling it) and proper medicine.