Don’t let me distract you from the important work in the other fish post, but you might have missed this from the current affairs monthly Viz, which was pointed out to me in the senior common room today:
Give our kids brain boost oil.
By our science correspondent Old Mother Shipton.
Parents in Nottingham are demanding that their children be given free Snake Oil in order to improve their examination results.
Snaik Oil,though not scientifically accepted as a ‘brain suplement’ or ‘food’,has long been associated with increased brain function in pub conversations and newspaper columns,a fact which parents are keen to see reflected in school spending.
Suporters of the proposal insist that anecdotal evidence for the benefits of Snake Oil is unarguable.A series of anecdotal trails carried out in 2005 by Dr Hiram J. Pepperworth’s Travelling Circus and Health Supplements Laboratory found that children who sat GCSE examinations after taking Snake Oil improved their results by one grade,as well as growing full heads of luxurious hair and gaining the strength of ten men.
Hiram J. Pepperworth’s marketing director deflected the scientific community’s criticism of their methods.”These impressive results came from a full trial”,he said while ripping a telephone directory in half.”Not a trial in the scientific sence,but their are other sorts of trial,which are more like what this trial was like.Motorbike trials,Sheepdog trials.That sort of thing.Here,punch me in the stomach as hard as you can.”
A campaign has been launched by the Daily Mail to divert school funding to the purchase of Snake Oil tablets and away from school dinners,sports equipment or text books.