Bill Nelson wins the internet.

August 9th, 2008 by Ben Goldacre in bad science, badscience, detox, homeopathy, nutritionists, pseudodiagnoses, quantum physics | 66 Comments »

Ben Goldacre
The Guardian,
Saturday August 9 2008

image Silly season is in full swing. At the Telegraph, their correspondent has gone for a bioenergetic health audit. “The resident homoeopath, Katie Jermine, quizzed me about my diet, stress levels and lifestyle. She then strapped on a wristband and plugged me into an electronic device called the Quantum QXCI, which scanned my system for vitamins, minerals, food intolerances, toxicity, organ function, hormone balance, parasites, digestive disorders and stress levels.”

We’ve all come to accept that the hypochondriac pages are somehow exempt from the transaction constraints of “cash for précised true facts” in the newsagents. So you will be unsurprised to hear that several intolerances were diagnosed with the Quantum QXCI machine, each requiring extensive treatment. And not just some healthy fruit and veg. No: only an idiot would pay £150 to be told to eat more fruit and veg. There were also 120 pills, of varying colour and size.

What is the mysterious QXCI machine? Sadly the Telegraph seem to have kept the most interesting details from us, for this is no less than the Quantum Xrroid Consciousness Interface, “the most advanced medical assessment and therapy device in the world today” according to the distributors. It loops all 200 trillion human cells within a 55-channel biofeedback system to gather bioenergetic data at nano-second speeds, creating optimal wellness. It is covered in lights and switches, with special sciencey connectors like the printer ports on an old computer, and it looks like the equipment on an intensive care unit.

image This is nothing less than cargo-cult science, as Professor Richard Feynman had it over thirty years ago, describing the similarities between pseudoscientists and the religious activities on small Melanesian islands in the 1950s: “During the war they saw aeroplanes with lots of good materials, and they want the same thing to happen now. So they’ve arranged to make things like runways, to put fires along the sides of the runways, to make a wooden hut for a man to sit in, with two wooden pieces on his head as headphones and bars of bamboo sticking out like antennas – he’s the controller – and they wait for the aeroplanes to land. They’re doing everything right. The form is perfect. It looks exactly the way it looked before. But it doesn’t work. No aeroplanes land.”

image Quantum, of course, is a word that many interpret as permission to make stuff up, although almost the entire electronic manufacturing output of the world is driven by a perfectly adequate understanding and application of quantum principles. Xrroid meanwhile is a word simply concocted by the machine’s inventor himself, a wealthy gentleman described as Professor Bill Nelson. He has at least five doctorates (by my counting), is reported by the Seattle Times to be a federal fugitive on the run from the US, and his machine costs £10,750 (a bargain, as they explain: “Technology attracts clients and charges are higher for practitioners who use state of the art assessment and therapy systems”).

But more fascinating than the ridiculousness of this machine is the confident mindset of a man who would choose to make it. For a window into this world, I can only recommend the website of his International Medical University of Natural Education, which hosts trailers for several feature-length movies about the grand and glorious life of Professor Bill Nelson, inventor of the Quantum Xrroid Consciousness Interface. One piece, entitled “Bill’s theme” (available in full at, very clearly wins the internet.

Supported by a large cast, on lavish sets, Professor Nelson (playing himself) has dramatic fist fights, lifts weights, champagne is poured, equipment is brandished, he mooches in glamorous strip bars, attractive women stroke him, and evildoers in cars – suppressive agents of the pharmaceutical industry we suspect – try to run him off the road! But best of all, the entire story is narrated by Professor Nelson, at the side of the screen, sometimes hushed, sometimes in a dramatic baritone, but entirely in song, setting his own words to the tune of “I am the lord of the dance”.

If you like what I do, and you want me to do more, you can: buy my books Bad Science and Bad Pharma, give them to your friends, put them on your reading list, employ me to do a talk, or tweet this article to your friends. Thanks! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

66 Responses

  1. moulie said,

    November 16, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Damn, that CV is funny. I only made sense of a bit of it, but the ‘Quantum Biology’ bit made me wonder what Feynman would have made of all this!

    Oh, and just to say (as a non-paper buyer) the Bad Science book is now in my top 5 fave. books, very good, very funny, read in a day! Heck i may even get round to buying the Guardian!

  2. zeno said,

    February 10, 2009 at 7:11 pm


    I’m glad you’re still with us and I hope you have many more years.

    If I understand you correctly, you are saying you used this machine while you were getting chemotherapy?

    If this is so, why do you think it was the SCIO machine and not the proven chemotherapy?

    I’m not in the USA, but I don’t think the FDA has anything to do with insurance or denying treatment. You need to take that up with the proper body responsible in the USA.

  3. laura said,

    March 22, 2009 at 3:33 am

    Well people I have read all of your reply’s and it saddens me that it is so obvious you all have very closed minds. Someday SOONER THAN YOU THINK you are going to regret your mentality as a people. It appears you base all your assumptions on your own judgements and the bought media of a man/woman who has not only dedicated his life for the good of all people but he is also one of the tiny few to have the courage to be whoever he/she is. So far I have not seen any real journalism happening.I know that there have been numerous interviews with many very credible and respected professionals using the EPFX,with excellent results on reducing stress and NOT ONE of these interviews has ever been aired to the public.Gee I wonder why? Could it be that maybe it is capable of helping people and poses a threat to big pharma etc…Don’t you ever wonder how the health regulation boards can deem most of the foods on the grocery store shelves as safe for human consumption but a device that has never hurt anyone and helped many is dubbed as bogus is staggering beyond belief and whats even more staggering is you people are still buying into it!!! Before you continue to slander this amazing device and the incredible inventor, do yourself the due diligence of proper research.Hasn’t enough hurt been shed in this world.SHAME ON YOU ALL!
    You know its so true, if we are ever to change this world back to the paradise I believe it once was,it cannot be done by the same unconscious mentality that created it.


  4. Mary said,

    April 16, 2009 at 2:38 am

    I`ve tried to report several doctors for burning their fingers with these type of devices. They neither know or it seems care if one; as whose as sensitive as myself that the device they are working with is low powered. Main stream science and the military application is largely to blame along with governments trying to make money out of technology which was essentially designed for weapon systems, heads-up-displays and stealth technology.

    Dr George Carlo (USA) held a joint meeting in September 08 with Electrosensitivity UK :
    Where it was discussed the use of scalar or non-linear wave machines; there are other names they are listed under.
    He told us about the use for these devices in helping suffers of electrosensitivity and other health problems:
    Dr Carlo reported that these Scalar devices caused a breakdown in the cell membrane:
    After 3 months a year the condition reoccurred. Others have told me they mask the condition.
    He said our bodies work on light receptors. Electropollution damages those light receptors
    and hormone system associated with it. Its getting rid of the pollution, not adding to it.

    The history goes back to before the 1930`s Radonics as it used to be called then and still is, just like today their were two power systems.
    The British Radionics Ass. and other organistion are not going to help clean up this act.
    (In the 1980`s The Psychological Society disapproved of Radonics: However Nursing Times said the electronic medicine was the medicine of the future) Probably in Startrek terms?
    I was taught about one might say conventional and non-conventional flow of energy, one might say.

    There`s also a phasing system and changing the phase or polarity increases the power output
    until its off scale..
    Einstein and Tesla had some doings with one another, though disinfo seems to be within all of this knoweledge.

    However Radonics and conventional power systems were confused:
    The true ratio and power output of a conventional motor was confused with; how a computer,
    non-conventional flow system or simply running a motor backwards. This runs ruff producing
    allsorts of energy spikes and interference. (Dirty Electricity) Which is what the biofeedback is based on.
    (Something the body ignores energy and takes on board what it needs; I don`t think that the truth
    the consciouse mind might, rather like hynosis or NLP which can be used with it)

    This technology is much more powerful. Seemingly thought of as low frequency hence
    main stream science did not understand low frequency was powerful….. Except if it was built
    largest.. Small CD`s; or other hand held devices available in the 1930`s seem not to be considered
    as being powerful.. The aircraft industry and pharmaceutical industry along with big Business sort to hide this technology. It was ideal when the military wanted to use and hide it too.
    It was certainly known in the 1930`s if not before that the sine wave of any chemical can be
    simulated electronically then transmitted over any distance.

    Hence why Quantum QXCI, and Bicom and other similar based computers have a real not a imaginary effect on the bodies cells.
    Richard Gerber MD Vibrational Med. for the 21st cen
    says these devices can programe the body`s cell more effectivity than long term drug or psychotherpy.
    (Nanoparticles; the NHS and Princes trust a
    few years ago asked the Royal Society (London) to look into problems with nano-particles.
    A report was produced and re turned to the government, with no further thought than to
    band maybe Colloidal Silver. While the NHS is using this to help combat MRSA.
    (we seem to have lost this info. even though my science teachers in the 1970`s knew
    this info as they did their national service and gained the info then. One of my teachers
    referred to it as “funny stuff” and static fields).

    The change in polarity had confused main steam scientists after the 1930`s, the governments sent hit squads out to labs working on this technology without government say so…… Briefly declassified in 1950, then reclassified in 1955 when the cold war started.
    (superstition and lack of concern amongst main stream science) Leaving much in the hands
    of amateurs as far as power systems and how they really work. They were not really able to measure the power and still are`t its based on does it work rather than; radiation output.
    (Hearing research and implants know there are problems but they don`t speak too loudly
    they perceive the problem as low frequency)

    Reverse polarity devices, non-convention flow, solid state technology, was not understood
    for the power it produced. Political agenda’s have got in the way once declassified for the use of this technology in so called “Green Energy Systems”. Once not power efficient wind turbines have been converted to computerised
    components…. Where once they used a transformer to change DC to AC:

    The clockwise coil was replaced with what`s called a frequency modulator or inverter.
    This can be made to generate a multi dimensional/polarity system….
    The original format that Tesla would of used would of been a counter clockwise coil to do the same job.. One person on youtube says the Philadelphia Experiment used a cone shaped coil
    Much of that experiment relates to modern power systems.
    Even thought we have denials.. And where the technology comes from.

    Through our secrecy laws and government aganger the MoD has hit a problem with
    RADAR now being interfered with breaching national sociality; which has been reported in
    timeonline. The MoD want to close 3 wind turbine sites in Norfolk and the government
    will not let them. There is to be an enquiry…
    I contacted the MoD and Lord Hutton several times and was ignored..
    Told to contact MP Phil Hope who did little to understand.

    I found a link between Green technology and biofeedback devices in that they were poorly
    understood. They don`t even comply to BSI or EMC/EU regs. (electromagnetic compatibility)

    They can`t be Earthed, filtered or shielded and don`t forget people are being healed with
    a device based on a weapon system.
    When they are just based on a linear wave opposed to a non-linear or scalar wave they were
    less of that problem. (MRI machines don`t comply to BSI however the HSE are bending over backwards)
    There is not organisation to protect the patient from doctors who choose to treat without
    giving full consent.

    The PCT, Healthcare commission (NHS), GMC are run by jobs worth’s who have not a clue (Trading Standards they have not a clue either)
    Radiocommunications Ageancy knew there were problems with related technology
    but they were closed and replaced by a inactive system which was to rely on OFCOM
    and trading standards….. Neither of whom had the knowledge the previous organisation that being
    RA had they have lost the staff.. Tranding Standards are supposed to buy in experts but the
    experts are not within the civilian sector.. (The MoD is only just about realising their is a problem)
    The HSE is expected to be the expert…… Or the NRPB/HPA

    Any doctor can now treat not only his patients without their full consent but other patients
    who are on the practices computer.. Colleagues who are unbelieving of their occult or mason
    colleagues can have a bit of real voodoo done behind their back.
    (As long as they don`t know, then that`s OK)

    All because mainstream science refused to believe in quantum physics and particle or nanotechnology
    being able to cross the blood brain barrier…..(The machine has allowed low level psychics to influence people where they perhaps would of never been able too.)
    Much of the work done in our univerities has only recently been declassified.
    Changes in government policey has once again tried to deny the work that has been taking place
    not only in the UK but largely at Stanford university(USA) Hal Putoff, Uri Geller being connected.

    Sekeptics try and deny.. Without knowing we are all transmitters and reciviers.
    There no way of stopping that, expect some are better at it than others.
    Burrden said if we are exposed to an electrical field it amplifies the psychic aspect.
    (about 8% of us are what`s called electrosensitive, not all psychics are ES)
    A medical College in New York called Stoney Brooke found that Voodoo was able to kill its not a belief system its mind, body and spirit (electrical) control.
    Springmier says that masons are using Tesla technology in ceremonies.
    (To go out of body)
    (Rita Pal reported that the BMA complained in 2000 that the GMC was being run by masons and other masons were not getting prosecuted)
    This was going on around the same time as Dr Shipman the “Mason Culture” according to Dr Pal was one of the main causes for allowing the man to kill over 200 patients.
    It will contine to happen: Its happening right now with these biofeed back devices doctors who do know they are a hazard refused to speak out. If patients try to report things like myself they get
    ignored or if they push too hard could be put in a mental insitution. While the doc still practicies.

    25 NHS hospitals are doing tests on NED (out of body states) in their cardiac unit.
    The people behind that did tests at Southampton Hospital Dr Peter Fenwick being one
    is a founder memeber of the Scientific and Medical network. Several members are
    into using biofeedback and psychotherapy.

    This stuff is controlling all of us: Its not just a thought:
    I`ve been threatened by doctors using these machines and their colleagues; just close rank
    Leaving themselves and all the patients exposed.
    All the cuprites do is to deny.(They use EVP devices in combination though some
    aspects are still possible to get the same effect without)
    Leaving mentally ill doctors playing with all of us whether you wish to believe it makes little difference to these people, they are OCD/Aspburgers or maybe worse.
    These people can integrated themselves with our very being, not a belief either.
    In basic hands on healing I was taught, that you can exchange conditions with your
    patient/healer. With electronic healing that aspect becomes even more of a problem.

    “You ask them to stop, because they don`t know what their doing and they can`t stop”
    Some of these devices which are used from even industrial uses in masking noise out
    can be set to make anyone go out of body in less then 10 mins.
    An out of body healer out of control is not a nice person to met:
    Nick Franks Radionic expert told me of a similar case to mine happening in Scotland
    both husband and wife went to a healer using a electronic device they both became electrosenstive
    and can no longer use a phone or computer. The wife was and may well still be haughted by the
    practitioner.. Because these devices appear to create a net work, just like a mobile phone.
    Just like a mobile phone they may be thought of as working on microwaves.
    Just like the is couple I tried to report the doctors to the police for harassment.

    The police did little when I asked them for help the last two times it happened.
    Though in another area where the 1st doctor lived the police knew what I was talking about.
    As they had a colleagues who has just retired and was known as the psychic policeman.
    They were willing to search the docs home and take the equipment. I said then what?
    I don`t know what happened to the couple in Scotland.
    I wrote to the other doctors in the practice after verbally telling them one of their colleagues
    had used one of these machines on me: He initial gave me a masons hand shake and
    transfixed me with his eye`s.. 24 hour later I was on to him like a shot.
    He`d gone away for the week.
    He denied….. I went though all the lines of defence to find the system is US.
    There`s no one to help….. The MASONS RULE OK:
    No court in the land! will stand even if they do know as my husband says
    “they are all part of the magic circle”.
    The Witch Act was repealed last year that`s a long shot.
    I contact the CAM at various universities no reply
    Northampton University is doing Remote Viewing I wrote to Dr Roe and the Principle all playing games. No reply.

  5. Mary said,

    April 20, 2009 at 1:26 am

    Dear Ben,

    Somethings got to happen about educating doctors that unsuspecting doctors are playing with each other. The poor sensitivie patient can`t stop them interferering with them or other patients. The lengths they go to to lie. Their uneducated collegeues refuse to understand.I am very like to be sent to a psychatrist while the doctor plays and has played for many years.
    Need advice ASP?

  6. allitnil said,

    August 9, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    There is a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corp) investigation into Nelson here

    For some reason (possibly disguise) he appeared on camera in full drag.

  7. fontwell said,

    August 10, 2009 at 6:35 am

    When you watch that video it’s hard not to think that he’s not just ripping people off, he’s taking the p*ss out of them too.

    Either that, or we’ve stumbled into a piece of genuine research into Poe’s law.

  8. Guy Chapman said,

    August 30, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    Check those diplomas! Here’s an action point for you. If you can find places which authoritatively describe these degree mills as fraudulent, take those citations to Wikipedia. Degree mills are zealous in removing every criticism, there are ongoing exchanges of pseudo-legal threats about fake schools like Bircham International University. Unfortunately the excellent “Bear’s Guide” is no longer updated, it seems, and the State of Oregon has given up actually calling places degree mills, presumably due to the costs of fighting off the snowstorm of vexatious complaints.

    I’ve had some experience of this, being subject to vicious personal attacks by people associated with St. Christopher College of Medicine in Luton – a place which led the GMC to change its procedures on accreditation of foreign schools and strike off at least two doctors who had graduated from there.

    One of the diplomas is from “Lafayette University”, a name I remember from elsewhere. It sounds like either Lafayette College or University of Louisiana at Lafayette – which is, of course, the idea. Needless to say Lafayette University is a degree mill, identified by Bear, QuackWatch and the US Government’s own Operation DipScam.

    The cottage industry in fake degrees, found on the walls of almost every prominent quack and also of a distressing number of people who practice in the mainstream, is something that bears much closer scrutiny over here; it’s better understood in the US where accreditation is not as regimented as here and where there is a market for unaccredited degrees, for example in creationism and fundamental Baptist evangelism.

  9. Guy Chapman said,

    August 31, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    Bill Nelson’s diplomas and certifications:
    * “The Society of the Knights of Templar” – a print-it-yourself fake aged parchment designed to look as if it comes from the legitimate Knights Templar ( Include’s grocer’s’ apostrophe’s.
    * Graduation certificate from the Occidental Institute of Chinese Studies, listed in Bear’s Guide (p. 326) as having been identified as an “illegal medical school” and subsequently relocated to Miami, Fl., thence to California (as the State of Florida arrived on their doorstep with subpoenas) and finally back to Canada.
    * National Board for Certified Counselors, inc. ( – legitimate
    * International Academy of Behavioral Medicine Counseling and Psychotherapy – fewer than 600 Google hits, no idea whether it is accredited or not, virtually no independent coverage, could not find any relevant affiliation hits in Pub Med.
    * Lafayette University (DSc) – degree mill as identified by Bear’s and Operation DIPSCAM.
    * Fundación de Biofísica Aplicada – honorary membership. This foundation scores a princely 15 unique Google hits and zero in a PubMed search.
    * International Medical University of Natural Education (“International License in Medicine”). Based in British Virgin Islands, “online university offering courses in natural, energetic and quantum medicine.”
    * IUVDT World STD/AIDS congress 1995 certificate of attendance
    * American Association of Nutritional Consultants
    * Universitatea de Medicina si Farmacie Victor Babes Timisoara – certificate of participation for a short course.
    * World Organization of Natural Medicine Practitioners (Doctor of Natural Medicine). Artifacts prevent close reading of the certificate.

    These certificates amount to:
    * Degrees bought from diploma mills
    * Certificates of attendance at events
    * Membership of natural medicine groups

    I don’t see anything to substantiate the claim of being a professor, though in the US the term is used differently to the UK and this may well be the case elsewhere as well.

    This is a perfect exemplar of the walled garden of naturopathy; like the fundamentalist Christian colleges these places give high-sounding degrees to each other, generally on the basis of life experience or simple reputation. The overlap is obvious in the case of the Occidental Institute of Chinese Studies, which operated at one point in concert with the Universal Life Church, a truly bizarre organisation that allows anybody to become an ordained minister immediately and free of charge. It is rarely possible to find anything which would be acceptable for credit transfer to a legitimate accredited institution.

    As a case study of how to spot a quack this is not bad. The guy is so completely sold on his own hype that he no longer seems to question even subconsciously the legitimacy of qualifications he has simply bought for cash.

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  12. Hasis said,

    February 19, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Right, can anyone [Ben?] please confirm for me that:

    1) This rather woo-looking ‘double-blind test’ does nothing other than show that a benign looped electronic connection causes some sort of feedback, whereas a disrupted loop does not?

    2) That in a test such as this, a sample size of 11 can not really be held as being statistically significant in any objectively useful way?


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  14. Homi said,

    May 14, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    I was first introduced to this machine two years ago, after about 4 minutes the machine read my body, it listed different illness I have had and it was amazingly accurate, it showed the diseases I had when I was 5
    and i had forgotten about it

    Then it showed the minerals in my body and a lot of metals and gem stones, i work in a jewelry store! Then it showed problem with a tooth (I had tooth ache and didn’t tell the person who was doing this test), it mentioned my blood circulation issues and type two diabetes, which also was unknown to the person who was doing the test. i was sitting next to machine and was reading all these myself, it mentioned everything that i knew and some that I didn’t know about my body. I was stunt!
    a year later i asked the person with the machine to check my body again and he said OK. he didn’t change me either time for this, it was just a friendly thing, he did it again, this time, it showed I had problem with my stomach and digestive system, I only knew for last two days that I had a bit of problem in that area, not even my wife knew that.
    I don’t care how much you guys want to bad mouth this machine, to me, this wasn’t like someone trying to sell me Christianity and make me believe someone walked on water or raise the dead or flew to heavens… I saw for myself the list of ever disease i had in my younger age on screen, I saw my tooth ache, i saw my blood circulation problem (which i and my doctor know that and not even my wife) and i saw my stomach digestive issues, listed in color from Red to yellow
    this machine read my whole body, its functions, its organs and their functions, my pains and my weaknesses in matter of few minutes and printed it on screen.

    I went to doctor and ask to get help on this issues from this learning, and after few weeks i went back and checked, i was better on the ones that I know i had fixed.
    it even showed the minerals my body were short of and the ones i had too many of. I ate a lot of one herb the day before and it showed it on screen the next day saying cut that out!

    what do you know?
    May be this nelson dude is a real genius

    My name is Homi and i am neither a scientist, or affiliated with this Nelson guy or his group, nor have any interest in this matter at all but to tell the truth

  15. mary.1 said,

    February 6, 2012 at 1:54 am

    I’ve been here before as Mary now Mary.1 the government has done nothing. The FDA convicted Jim Folsom March 2009 on 26 counts using a unapproved medical device. Still they know not what they do? I reported the use of such machines to the Health care standards commission. Its now calling itself the Qulity care commission. Medical doctors do not have to comply till 2013 luckey for some. I’ve no dought the machine can detect problems. But long term use over cookes the doctor. Its not only the radiation but the use of NLP in combination. This produces muliti persona. Again what masons are known for. I’ve likewise found more evidence out that we are dealing with a nuclear device. These devices are as I said are read in the wrong axis. A small dose of radiation helps stimulate the immune system. These doctors are breaching human rights carrying out experimentation & exposing patients to radiation. Radiochemistry & nuclear medican how the MRI works that’s called electomagnetic. Only its not. The sine wave is inverted. Prof Cyril Smith says the energy gets less. However I found that inversion as far as the weather & radiowaves means the energy is amplyfide not made less. Its trapped between the earth & sky so the RF is amplyfide. Wickapidia. For reasons unknown radiochemistry and rf are not the same. ? This stuff works no different to RADAR. On low not high freqency it produces a network.

  16. algail said,

    September 25, 2013 at 7:43 am

    Amazing how so many naysayers nay say without doing physical research. I have tested the SCIO in my lab and find that beyond doubt the device works exactly as claimed. However one needs to have some medical training to get the device to do the things claimed. It is not a random generator. I watch the signals on a scope and listen to the sounds on audio decks and every time one runs a program the sounds and wave from are always the same while being different of course from each other so nothing random there.
    Re medical tests two simple ones I carried out were to take a person blood pressure before and after therapy to find an immediate improvement in blood pressure and significant difference too , also taking a pulse before and after therapy to find that after therapy the heart rate had dropped and skipped beats normalised.
    The tests are unreliable so should not be relied upon, one should always apply ones medical training to deliver the correct therapy for any given pathology.
    People who do not get good results are simply not using the device correctly its as simple as that.
    I do not sell or service SCIO so my brief report is unbiased. I do not support Desiree but I did support Bill Nelson.
    As far as the Indigo goes I tested three and they did not work at all but that may have been a software program at the time.