It’s cold out there, why would you go shopping when you could just click here and have at least a third of your festive gift requirements sorted in five minutes, from the comfort of your very own springy buttock cheeks?
First up, much awaited, we have possibly the finest all-purpose political t-shirt slogan ever conceived. Better still, they only reveal their true powers when you are standing next to someone who is also wearing a slogan t-shirt. Recent favourites from my bus journey include “Drop beats not bombs” and “I need a hug”. Post links below to pictures of you wearing your “I think you’ll find it’s a bit more complicated than that” t-shirt in amusing situations, or email them in, and the best will win a genuinely amazing secret prize. Also available in girly pink, where the slogan will interact cleverly with your breasts. All this interactive christmas comedy pleasure for just £11.90 / £12.90.
A confrontational baby bib is both a public health intervention and an opportunity to have discussions with morons about what safe “really means”. Ideal for childrens parties in affluent middle class areas, but best of all this bib is organic so it won’t give your child eczema, or the Aids. £13.90 I’m afraid, which I agree is ridiculous. I don’t set the prices, I just upload the images and get a 2 quid commission or something. You are glad to give at christmas.
The miracle of intellectual evolution goes into a juddering reverse, as we take anxieties about globalised capital and mass industrialisation out on our bodies by pretending that empty sugar pills can cure everything from TB to cancer. T-shirt design by Twm Davies, designer of the excellent Now Clock, which would be great if it wasn’t in crap chrome.
The original and best nutritionist t-shirt, ideal for the nutritionist in your life at christmas. Also gratifyingly popular with militant dietitians and academics who study the science of nutrition. If we sell more than 50 items this Christmas – which is highly unlikely – then I will personally start handing these out to actual genuine Russell Group university professors of nutrition research.
There are many more designs at:
If anybody techy wants to convert my crappy .jpeg files into vector files which are “.eps, .ai (up to version CS2) or .cdr (up to version 11)” – whatever the hell that means – then the whole range will be available on coloured t-shirts too. Don’t hold your breath.
Lastly, of course, I can recommend my book as the ideal all-purpose christmas gift for the nerd or quack in your life. It’s a proper book, rather than a compilation of columns, which is why it was delivered three years late, and the most gratifying chatter I’ve seen around the internet has been people saying “hey this is pretty good, I’m totally getting one for my nerdy dad, and one for my flaky sister who quietly believes in homeopathy and didn’t give her second kid the MMR vaccine”. That’s right, Bad Science is the gift of goodwill that can be given in frustration as much as in love, and it’s touching to think that through this blog we might be contributing to family arguments the length and breadth of the country at christmas. They will be conducted at a far more nourishing level if you’ve both read the book.