Chocolates and homeopathy

April 24th, 2003 by Ben Goldacre in acupuncture, bad science, chocolate, nutritionists | 1 Comment »

Chocolates and homeopathy

Ben Goldacre
Thursday April 24, 2003
The Guardian

New: Talk about Bad science

· I was delighted to see that the government has given £1.3m to the pseudo-scientists marketing alternative therapies such as homeopathy and acupuncture. This money will go towards research projects to determine whether their money-making scams really help people, and whether they should be available on the NHS. I can think of nothing better, though why an industry reported this week to make £130m a year out of the British public can’t be bothered to spend 1% of that on sorting out its own research is another question. And how they plan to help an underfunded NHS, in which GPs can offer only six-minute appointments, get round the fact that people prefer alternative therapists because they are privately employed to spend an hour listening to people talk about themselves without calling it counselling, is another matter.

· What you might not know, because it’s so much less newsworthy, is that the government has given an equal and opposite gift to the noble bad science hunters of the world, having arranged for everyone to have free access to the Cochrane Library online. This is the best single source of reliable evidence about the effects of health care in the world. It is built up from statistical reviews of the available experimental evidence, combining the results from lots of different trials to make one big one, and offers the best chance of getting at the reality of what works and what doesn’t. Being a trouble maker, the first thing I did was go to their site (link below) and look up acupuncture. Oh look, there are 22 studies already on smoking and acupuncture. Hang on: “There is no clear evidence that acupuncture, acupressure, laser therapy or electrostimulation are effective for smoking cessation.”

The Cochrane Library

· Lastly, it was good to see that in these godless times, with church attendance dropping yearly, we have at least managed to maintain the traditional Easter ritual of stories in the news about chocolate being good for you. Speculative laboratory studies about antioxidant flavonoids, and their possible effect on the immune system and bone metabolism, were gaily reported in more places than I could count as if the patient population studies on osteoporosis and coronary heart disease were already in the bag. But if you really think you need more of vitamins A1, B1, B2, C, D, and E, why not skip the chocolates and get your fat arse down to the market to buy some fruit for a change?

Dr Goldacre will be back next week. Please send your favourite Bad Science to: bad.science@guardian.co.uk

Apes and antibiotics

April 17th, 2003 by Ben Goldacre in bad science, cosmetics, herbal remedies, scare stories | 7 Comments »

Apes and antibiotics

Ben Goldacre
Thursday April 17, 2003
The Guardian

New: Talk about Bad science

· The terrifying epidemic of inaccurate fear-mongering continues to rage over the Sars virus. Dominik Diamond of the Daily Star blames you, the general public, for creating the super virus: “We’ve wasted our defences against this, by demanding antibiotics at the mere hint of a sniffle.” Clever boy. Perhaps there’s a GCSE biology student out there who could explain to him why antibiotics only kill bacteria, and not viruses.

· Although we are, of course, right to worry, war is nothing compared to the glorious might of the natural world. Remember: politics killed only between seven and 10 million men and women in the first world war; the influenza epidemic bagged 21 million a year later. Morality is vanity, I tell you. The scientists are fighting a much bigger game.

· And so, with almost painful inevitability, we move on to Crap Cure of the Week. US regulators have ordered the chancers flogging the wonder-pill “Cellasene” to reimburse their customers $12m (£7.6m) over claims, now withdrawn, that their expensive blend of herbs and crushed grape seeds “eliminates” cellulite. I was more interested in their promise of a wholesale personality change, giving me a bottom and thighs that, apparently, I would be “eager to show off”. Thank God you can still buy Cellasene Forte in Boots at only £29.99.

· If only the Cellasene salespeople had followed the lead of Elemis, who have just won the Professional Beauty Awards 2003 prize for “Best Marketing and Promotions”. The key to pseudo-scientific cosmetics marketing is, as they demonstrate, to generate publicity material that means nothing and to steer well clear of testable hypotheses: “We use Absolutes, the purest form of living energy . . . Elemis plant essential oils are most potent and . . . have an immense capacity for oxygenating the skin.” Sold.

· And finally, we turn to the extraordinary letters pages of the Daily Mail, whose reactionary Victorian values seem to go well beyond the family: “Evolution is absurd. Are there any scientists who still believe in it?” Gulp. And, most terrifyingly: “If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes around?”

Dr Goldacre will be back next week.

Please send your favourite bad science to: bad.science@guardian.co.uk

The onslaught begins…

April 10th, 2003 by Ben Goldacre in bad science, bbc, celebs, scare stories, water | 7 Comments »

The onslaught begins…

Ben Goldacre
Thursday April 10, 2003
The Guardian

As I rush towards the hideous reality of my 30th birthday, I am very excited to read about Longevity, a new kind of anti-ageing tablet that “delivers 2-AEP directly to outer cell walls to strengthen, seal and protect them”. The tablets have been awarded the National Council on Ageing’s Silver Fleece award for “the product that makes the most outrageous or exaggerated claims about human ageing”. Last year’s winner was “Clustered Water”, and their panel recently announced that “no effective anti-ageing intervention currently exists”. The marketers of Longevity have fought back, however, and their website has listed happy customers: John Wayne, Yul Brynner, Anthony Quinn, Princess Caroline of Monaco.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but as far as I can tell, at least three of those people are dead already.

It is also nice to see the Sars panic continuing, still with no actual information in most of the lengthy news reports. Any scientists looking for a new angle on where the virus came from might want to consult Cheryl, resident authority in the News of the World’s “Ask Cheryl” column. Writing on the link between relationships and ill-health, she points out that “years of arguing can weaken the immune system, causing viruses”.

If I went out Walking With Cavemen (BBC1, Thursdays) I think I’d be expecting to see some dangling penises, not to mention a bit of sex and the odd killing. Sadly, according to Auntie Beeb, things were a lot less decadent than I imagined _ actually this is too easy; I shall move on.

And finally, although it pains me to draw on anecdotal evidence for my sceptical stance on Feng Shui and the like, it is with almost sinister pleasure that I discover Anthea Turner, former darling of morning TV, paid through the nose to have her home Feng-Shuied last month. The very next weekend she was burgled and lost £40,000 of valuables. Proof, if proof were needed: I guess she should have left that wastebasket in the “wealth” corner of the room after all.

For God’s sake keep your bad science tips coming: I don’t know if I can bear trawling through this rubbish much longer. Although please, no more of your helpful “tips” about the Observer Magazine’s Barefoot Doctor. I know.

Send your favourite bad science to: bad.science@guardian.co.uk
Dr Goldacre will be back next week

Be Very Afraid: The Bad Science Manifesto

April 3rd, 2003 by Ben Goldacre in alternative medicine, bad science, cosmetics, MMR, nutritionists, quantum physics, religion | 6 Comments »

Be very afraid

Ben Goldacre
Thursday April 3, 2003
The Guardian

It was the MMR story that finally made me crack. My friends had always seemed perfectly rational: now, suddenly, they were swallowing media hysteria, hook, line and sinker. All sensible scientific evidence was twisted to promote fear and panic. I tried to reason with them, but they turned upon me: I was another scientist trying to kill their baby.

Many of these people were hardline extremists, humanities graduates, who treated my reasoned arguments about evidence as if I was some religious zealot, a purveyor of scientism, a fool to be pitied. The time had clearly come to mount a massive counter-attack.

Science, you see, is the optimum belief system: because we have the error bar, the greatest invention of mankind, a pictorial representation of the glorious undogmatic uncertainty in our results, which science is happy to confront and work with. Show me a politician’s speech, or a religious text, or a news article, with an error bar next to it?

And so I give you my taxonomy of bad science, the things that make me the maddest. First, of course, we shall take on duff reporting: ill-informed, credulous journalists, taking their favourite loonies far too seriously, or misrepresenting good science, for the sake of a headline. They are the first against the wall.

Next we’ll move on the quacks: the creationists, the new-age healers, the fad diets. They’re sad and they’re lonely. I know that. But still they must learn. Advertisers, with their wily ways, and their preposterous diagrams of molecules in little white coats: I’ll pull the trigger.

And the same goes for the quantum spin on government science. I’m watching you all.

And finally, let us not forget the strays, the good scientists who have passed to the dark side. Was it those shares in that drug company, or the lust for fame and glory? Bad scientists, your days are numbered.

If you are a purveyor of bad science, be afraid. If you are on the side, of light and good, be vigilant: and for the love of Karl Popper, email me every last instance you find of this evil. Only by working joyously together can we free this beautiful, complex world from such a vile scourge.

Send your favourite bad science to: bad.science@guardian.co.uk
Dr Goldacre will be back next week